How much is too much (when it comes to screens and devices)?

In just a few weeks, we will welcome Stefanie Thomas from the Seattle Police Department to talk with students and parents about internet safety (encompassing topics such as cyber bullying, social networking, online posting, teens as targets and cellphone and internet safety tips). We have welcomed speakers on this topic in the past and it is one that I continually feel is worth repeating. Parents and kids hear information differently depending on the developmental stage they are in. Also, we tend to think things won't happen to us, until quite frankly, they do. So please mark your calendars and get a babysitter if needed- 

 Stefanie Thomas

Internet Safety

Monday, Nov. 16th 7:00pm

Great Hall

Information and registration Internet Safety Speaker

In the meantime, check out these tips and resources from Common Sense Media. (Side note: Common Sense Media is a great resource for all things technology and media, including objective reviews on movies, and our own Angela Heath uses it for educational programming at school.) If you think Halloween is scary, try not having any rules or limits on screens and devices. Yikes! 

Are you wondering how much screen time is appropriate for your child? https://www.commonsensemedia.org/screen-time

Do you need guidance in setting limits and rules when it comes to screens and devices? 

https://www.commonsensemedia.org/blog/how-to-set-screen-rules-that-stick 

Do you need guidance in modeling balance yourself with your own screens (hint: be more present, put your phone down)?

https://www.commonsensemedia.org/blog/be-a-role-model-find-a-healthy-balance-with-media-and-technology

In this month's ParentMap, a timely article on the Do's and Don'ts for first time cell phone users. https://www.parentmap.com/article/dos-and-donts-for-parents-of-first-time-cell-phone-users
 

Check out these links and browse the site a bit. It should give you a good foundation for seeing Stefanie Thomas in a couple of weeks. I hope to see many of you there!

Have a wonderful Halloween weekend!!!

The power of our words (and the right kind of involvement)

Parenting is a hard job. There is so much to consider, from what to feed your children to how much sleep they need to what kind of sunscreen to buy. Needless to say, it can feel like a very overwhelming job, and likely the hardest you will ever have. Luckily, there are a multitude (sometimes too many) of helpful people and resources available. Personally, I have always been a bit overwhelmed by the number of books available (starting at pregnancy) and have been guided by advice someone gave me years ago which is to find the book or author that sits right with you and stick with that one.  As your children grow and develop independence and strong(er) minds and wills, the job of parenting can feel even more challenging. The rewards are immense and invaluable, but the day to day can be difficult. 

Being a parent often means being a facilitator in the lives of our children. Our children are at the center and our job is to put the necessary pieces in place so that our children will (hopefully) thrive, flourish and be happy. They are in the driver's seat, and we are the mechanics. We can't make our children eat, but we can put healthy food on their plate. We can't make them work, but we can support them and create the environment for positive learning to take place. Not to overwhelm you with even more advice (but you are reading this blog, so must be looking for some guidance!), consider these ideas and articles on supporting your child in their development of responsibility and independence:

• Self-talk- we all do it. Work on positive self-talk yourself. Discuss with and model it for your children. The Way You Talk to Yourself Matters 
•  "The way we talk with our children becomes their inner voice." - Peggy O'Mara

• Trust what your teachers are trying to do for your child. They spend 8 hours a day with your child, and at times likely see a different side of him/her. They are professionals educator and are very knowledgeable about appropriate academic and behavioral expectations for children in that age range. Trust. Intellectual and Academic Support

• Don't talk negatively about your child's teachers in front of him/her. It undermines them and sets up an internal conflict for your child.

• Try not to put your own frustrations or issues on your child, particularly when there is an opportunity for your child to grow.

• When safe to do so, let natural consequences occur for your child. Resist the temptation to always do for and save them. Look for opportunities for your child to exercise age appropriate independence and responsibility.  How to Raise an Adult

• Help your children develop their goals- not yours. Five Ways to Help Your Kid Have a Great School Year

It was great to see those of you that made it to see Dr. Lisa Miller talk this week talk about the role of spirituality. It was a really interesting and engaging presentation. Mark your calendars for the next speaker- Stefanie Thomas from the Seattle Police Department will present on Internet Safety, Nov. 16th at 7:00pm. 

Until next week, take care!

Boys and girls learn differently!

No doubt, some of you are thinking- of course they learn differently. Their brains are wired differently! I had the privilege of hearing from a leading authority on this topic  last week at the Northwest Association of Independent Schools (NWAIS) annual fall conference. Michael Gurian, pioneer on gender differences, brings together neuro-biology and brain research into schools and homes. He is the author of 28 books, and co-founded the Gurian Institute that conducts research internationally, pilots programs and trains professionals. I could not write fast enough as he spoke and left the conference with one of his books in hand (Boys and Girls Learn Differently: A Guide for Teachers and Parents). And you better believe I am working to see if we can bring him to Annie Wright to talk with our community. Today I want to share with you some of the nuggets of information from his talk and his book (and I am only into the first few chapters) that made a deep impression on me. *For any neuroscientists reading this, please excuse my lay person summary. Also, there are as many brains in the world as there are people. Generally, girls lean toward the female brains and boys toward the male. However, some people have "bridge brains" and have nearly equal qualities of both male and female brains. 

• The language centers of the male brain are found in the left hemisphere, as opposed to the female brain where both the right and left hemispheres have language centers.  The female language centers run in channels throughout, enabling girls to connect to language (written, oral, etc.) quickly and easily. As well, they connect words to feelings and previous experiences quickly and deeply as well. In contrast, the language centers in the male brain are only on one side and look more like splotches. Therefore, information does not travel in the same way or to the same place.
• The right hemisphere of the male brain is where the spatial and mechanical centers are located. Because of this, boys learn best with movement and things in motion. Boys are active in their learning and naturally oriented to body movement, which serves to further develop their spatial abilities and right hemisphere brain development. In the classroom or at home, this can quite literally look like boys taking up a lot of space.  Boys tend to do better with three dimensional and abstract reasoning.
• In a rest or boredom state, the male brain is largely inactive. Body movement, pencil tapping, and rocking in chairs are some things boys may do to wake their brains up. In comparison, the female brain in the same state of rest or boredom is still quite active. The female brain is never truly at rest. The upside is a high capacity for learning by being consistently engaged. The downside is the potential for rumination of thoughts and being stuck in a mental loop.
• Females tend to see better in low light, males in bright light. Females also hear better than males, often leading people to raise their voices more often with males.
• Females tend to be better at controlling impulsive behavior, and are also less likely to take moral risks than boys. 
• Girls may be likely to try and manage social bonds in a group situation through egalitarian relationships, whereas boys might manage things socially through dominance or working his way to the top of the pecking order. 
• Males tend to tackle situations with a task focused response, leaving much of his brain untouched and managing stimulation by "sticking to a plan." It is a quick and direct route to accomplishing a goal, but can end in frustration if things don't go as planned. Females, on the other hand, respond to things in a more complex way, processing more emotive stimulants, through more senses and more completely. I enjoyed this video on the different way males and females respond- It's Not About the Nail.  
• Under stress, hormones play out differently for females and males. In females, oxytocin (known as the "tend and befriend" hormone) levels soar, pushing females to get help and make choices that please others and maintain relationships. In males under stress, testosterone levels soar, bringing out a "flight or flight" response potentially seen as aggression, competitiveness and/or self-assertion and self-reliance. 

I could go on and on. I am just getting started in the book, and would highly recommend checking out any of his books and materials. I left the conference feeling invigorated and hungry to know more, in both my role at Annie Wright and as a mom of two boys. I hope this post leaves you with a similar feeling of curiosity.
Check out this link to six keys to school success for boys. 
http://gurianinstitute.com/wordpress/6-keys-to-school-success-dr-ed-dixon/  

Take care!

Responsive Classroom- what is it exactly?

Most of you have heard us talk about Responsive Classroom, whether at Back to School night, parent teacher conferences or at grade level parent meetings. When you've heard it referenced, it was likely a brief summary that didn't give your brain much to hold onto. Most of you know about Morning Meeting, but did you know that this start to the day is one of ten practices in this approach? 

Responsive Classroom (RC) is a premium research and evidence-based social and emotional learning approach associated with greater teacher effectiveness, higher student achievement and improved school climate (https://www.responsiveclassroom.org/sites/default/files/pdf_files/rc_brochure_updated.pdf). The Lower School began using this approach five years ago because it was so closely aligned with the community and culture that has been present for years at Annie Wright Schools. In the last two or three years, it has been so easy to implement because of its similarities and consistencies with the Primary Years Program of the IB. It is also an approach intended to be utilized alongside the programs and strategies already being used in a school or classroom.

So what do you need to know? To start, what is social and emotional learning?

• Social and emotional learning (SEL) is the process through which children and adults acquire and effectively apply the knowledge, attitudes, and skills necessary to understand and manage emotions, set and achieve positive goals, feel and show empathy for others, establish and maintain positive relationships, and make responsible decisions (CASEL- http://www.casel.org/social-and-emotional-learning/). 

Why is social and emotional learning important to teach in schools and how is it connected to academic success? 

• The social curriculum is as important as the academic curriculum because children learn best through social interaction.
• Students receiving quality SEL instruction demonstrated 
• better academic performance- achievement scores an average of 11 points higher than students who did not receive SEL instruction
• Improved attitudes and behaviors
• Fewer negative behaviors
• Reduced emotional distress (http://www.responsiveclassroom.org/research)

What are the guiding principles of the Responsive Classroom approach?

• The social and emotional curriculum is as important as the academic curriculum.
• How children learn is as important as what they learn.
• Great cognitive growth occurs through social interaction.
• To be successful academically and socially, children need to learn a set of social and emotional skills that include cooperation, assertiveness, responsibility, empathy, and self-control.
• Knowing the children we teach—individually, culturally, and developmentally—is as important as knowing the content we teach.
• Knowing the families of the children we teach is as important as knowing the children we teach.
• How we, the adults at school, work together is as important as our individual competence: Lasting change begins with the adult community.

And lastly, what are the ten practices included in the Responsive Classroom approach? 

1. Morning Meeting—gathering as a whole class each morning to greet one another, share news, and warm up for the day ahead
2. Rule Creation—helping students create classroom rules to ensure an environment that allows all class members to meet their learning goals
3. Interactive Modeling—teaching children to notice and internalize expected behaviors through a unique modeling technique
4. Positive Teacher Language—using words and tone as a tool to promote children's active learning, sense of community, and self-discipline
5. Logical Consequences—responding to misbehavior in a way that allows children to fix and learn from their mistakes while preserving their dignity
6. Guided Discovery—introducing classroom materials using a format that encourages independence, creativity, and responsibility
7. Academic Choice—increasing student learning by allowing students teacher-structured choices in their work
8. Classroom Organization—setting up the physical room in ways that encourage students’ independence, cooperation, and productivity
9. Working with Families—creating avenues for hearing parents' insights and helping them understand the school's teaching approaches
10. Collaborative Problem Solving—using conferencing, role playing, and other strategies to resolve problems with students (http://www.responsiveclassroom.org/principles-and-practices-responsive-classroom)

We have found Responsive Classroom to work well for teachers and students alike.  I hope in reading this post you find yourself connecting with the approach as well, and can reflect on times when your child's teacher used these principles and practices to support you and your child. 

To close, you may appreciate this post to the RC blog: https://www.responsiveclassroom.org/blog/what-parents-wish-teachers-knew

Take care and enjoy the long weekend!

Supporting positive school (and life) habits

A new school year provides fresh opportunities to develop positive habits, for both children and adults. Habits regarding sleep, healthy eating, exercise, homework, chores, etc. For parents with school age children, August is comparable to January 1st in regards to renewed hopes and best laid plans. Resolutions in January are synonymous to plans in August. Our intentions are often strong and, if you are anything like me, even the best of intentions can be hard to maintain. 

National non-profit What Kids Can Do has a very helpful and concrete guide filled with advice to parents on school success. It outlines strategies in seven areas- homework, managing stress, self-control, motivation and challenge, keeping at it, curiosity, resourcefulness and self-confidence. http://www.whatkidscando.org/specialcollections/advice_for_parents/pdf/Advice_for_Parents.pdf

For parents that find it challenging to establish the necessary structure and routines to build positive habits, check out this article for creative ideas. https://www.parentmap.com/article/not-this-again-when-your-daily-routines-are-a-struggle

Above all, give yourself grace and space. Falling off course is an opportunity to re-examine routines- what works well for one may not work as well for another. School provides many opportunities for trial and error, and consequently time to build resiliency. Resolution miss-steps = Resiliency training. 
 
Until next week, take care. 

What do kids need?

Well, what do they need? Of course they need sleep, shelter, nutritious food, love and support, friendships, time to play and explore, fresh air and movement. This list is no small feat in and of itself, some days more than others. But when we take a close look at what kids really need to grow up healthy, caring and responsible, there are some very specific things that need to happen in a child's life. Below are just a few:

• positive family communication
• additional support from non-adult parents
• service to others
• clear boundaries (including family, school and neighborhood)
• school engagement
• integrity
• cultural competence
• personal power
• sense of purpose

These are some of the 40 Developmental Assets developed by the Search Institute (a nonprofit out of Minneapolis) based on research over two decades. They have identified a "set of skills, experiences, relationships and behaviors that enable young people to develop into successful and contributing adults." Their research from over 4 million children and youth shows that the more Developmental Assets young people acquire, the better their chances of succeeding in school and becoming happy, healthy, and contributing members of their communities and society.  Check these Assets out!  http://www.search-institute.org/research/developmental-assets

The best part about the Search Institute's website is that it includes very specific and concrete strategies we can take to develop these assets in young people. And this includes all of the young people in your life- your own children, your children's friends, the children in your neighborhood, the ones at your place of worship, those you see at the grocery store, etc. Click on "Take Action" next to each Asset for suggestions. http://www.search-institute.org/content/40-developmental-assets-adolescents-ages-12-18

I was reminded of these Developmental Assets at the Children's Museum of Tacoma's annual luncheon and symposium that I had the opportunity to attend on Thursday morning (along with many Annie Wright parents). Clay Roberts, national leader and speaker on the development of healthy, contributing young people was a part of this event two years ago and again this week. Then and now, he spoke about the importance for all of us in developing these Assets in children and youth. I first learned about the Developmental Assets fifteen years ago while I was an AmeriCorps Member working with high-risk youth in downtown Seattle and still find them just as powerful and helpful today as I did then.  Because of them, I make a point to say hello to young people I do not know when I walk around town. I make sure the rules and boundaries in our family are clear, and the consequences consistent. Much of what I strive to achieve in my job at Annie Wright and as a parent are based on these Developmental Assets.  Our children need opportunities to be independent and the Search Institute tells us why. They give us direction when we need guidance, and who doesn't need a little guidance now and then? I hope you explore the site and find the Assets equally as helpful and inspiring.

Take care!

The Spiritual Child

We are once again lining up a great set of presenters for our AWSPA sponsored Speaker Series for this year http://www.aw.org/Page/Community/Speaker-Series.  Dr. Lisa Miller, a psychologist who speaks on the science and power of spirituality, is kicking things off for us next month. In her book, The Spiritual Child: The new science on parenting for health and lifelong thriving, Dr. Miller looks at the link between spirituality and health and shows that children who have a positive, active relationship to spirituality:
* are 40% less likely to use and abuse substances
* are 60% less likely to be depressed as teenagers
* are 80% less likely to have dangerous or unprotected sex
* have significantly more positive markers for thriving including an increased sense of meaning and purpose, and high levels of academic success.

Please join us on Oct. 20th at 7:00pm in the Kemper Auditorum to hear how Lisa Miller gives practical advice for parents, including concrete ways to develop and encourage their children's (and their own) well-being.

For an excerpt from her provocative, conversation-starting book, http://us.macmillan.com/excerpt?isbn=9781250032928

We are continuing our partnership with ParentMap for this event and have 100 tickets reserved for our Annie Wright families. For more information and to reserve a ticket, http://www.aw.org/Page/Community/Speaker-Series
The tickets went fast last year, so reserve yours now!

Until next week, take care.