Mindfulness

This quote was shared with me recently and I thought it might be helpful for those of you new to the concept of mindfulness. Mindfulness means being present in the now, without placing judgement on one's experience in that moment. Mindfulness is an awareness of feelings, both physical and emotional, without immediately trying to change them. It is using your being mind, not your doing mind. Mindfulness isn't a new practice, with its origins in Buddhism or Hinduism, and we are seeing a resurgence recently in mindfulness practice with some very concrete benefits. Research shows that mindfulness practice can lead to stress reduction, boosts in working memory and focus, emotional regulation, cognitive flexibility, and increased empathy (http://www.apa.org/monitor/2012/07-08/ce-corner.aspx).

I have been teaching mindfulness to our Annie Wright students for several years and find they really enjoy it. Some almost seem hungry for it. I have also found it to be a nice complement to Responsive Classroom and the Primary Years Program. Here are some of the resources I use with students across a variety of grade levels:

• Sitting still like a frog: Mindfulness exercises for kids (and their parents), by Eline Snel. http://www.shambhala.com/sitting-still-like-a-frog.html 

• A handful of quiet: Happiness in four pebbles, by Thich Nhat Hanh. http://www.amazon.com/Handful-Quiet-Happiness-Four-Pebbles/dp/1937006212

• Pictures books including:
• What does it mean to be present?, by Rana Diorio
• The Lemonade Hurricane, by Licia Morelli
• Anh's Anger and Steps and Stones, by Gail Silver
• Mindful monkey, happy panda, by Lauren Alderfer and Kerry Lee MacLean
• Moody cow meditates, by Kerry Lee Maclean
• Visiting Feelings, by Lauren Rubenstein

With holidays approaching, mindfulness can be a great antidote to impending stress. Six quick and easy mindfulness tips to combat holiday stress

Just as we are working on teaching mindfulness at school, adults can incorporate mindfulness into their work day. Mindfulness at work

I hope to see lots of folks at the Internet Safety speaker on Monday. Take care and have a wonderful weekend!

Stress and anxiety

Stress is as much a part of life as any other feeling or emotion. A certain level of stress can be a positive thing that allows us to perform at our best. The big game, a big test or presentation- a healthy level of acute stress releases the hormones that make our brains more alert, our pulse to quicken and our muscles tense.  However, too much stress, particularly chronic stress, tips things over the edge into the negative. 

Behavior that seems out of character for your child may be an indication of stress or anxiety.  Signs of too much stress in children may include:

• acting irritable or moody
• withdrawing from activities that used to give them pleasure
• headaches or stomach aches 
• routinely expressing worries
• complaining more than usual about school
• crying
• displaying surprising fearful reactions 
• clinging to a parent or teacher
• sleeping too much or too little
• eating too much or too little.

For teens, while spending time with peers is typical, pushing back from parents or avoiding long time friendships teens may also be an indicator stress levels are too high. 
http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/stress-children.aspx 

My general guide in knowing when something has become a problem is how much it is impacting someone's daily healthy living. Many kids (and adults) exhibit funny or quirky behavior, but if it is not impacting their daily life (or social relationships), it may not need to be addressed. For more information on knowing when stress has gone from beneficial to detrimental in your teen:
https://www.parentmap.com/article/is-your-teen-suffering-from-toxic-stress 

For strategies on how to help your stressed or anxious child or teen:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/renee-jain/9-things-every-parent-with-an-anxious-child-should-try_b_5651006.html  

http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2012/06/06/signs-your-child-is-stressed-5-ways-to-help/

https://www.parentmap.com/article/webinar-strategies-to-free-your-kids-from-stress  


For books that may help your anxious child (whether short term or chronic):
Helping Your Anxious Child: A Step by Step Guide for Parents, Rapee, et al (including an online guide for children)http://www.amazon.com/Helping-Anxious-Child-Step---Step/dp/1572245751/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1446847906&sr=8-1&keywords=anxious+child

What to do when you worry too much: A kid's guide to overcoming anxiety, Huebner, Dawn http://www.apa.org/pubs/magination/441A314.aspx


Lastly, should your child need to talk to someone about their stressors, of course I am here (I see many kids that are feeling stressed). I also have great referrals for outside therapists that can be very helpful as well. 

With the weekend upon us, hopefully our own stress levels will be low and we can all relax. Until next week, take care.

How much is too much (when it comes to screens and devices)?

In just a few weeks, we will welcome Stefanie Thomas from the Seattle Police Department to talk with students and parents about internet safety (encompassing topics such as cyber bullying, social networking, online posting, teens as targets and cellphone and internet safety tips). We have welcomed speakers on this topic in the past and it is one that I continually feel is worth repeating. Parents and kids hear information differently depending on the developmental stage they are in. Also, we tend to think things won't happen to us, until quite frankly, they do. So please mark your calendars and get a babysitter if needed- 

 Stefanie Thomas

Internet Safety

Monday, Nov. 16th 7:00pm

Great Hall

Information and registration Internet Safety Speaker

In the meantime, check out these tips and resources from Common Sense Media. (Side note: Common Sense Media is a great resource for all things technology and media, including objective reviews on movies, and our own Angela Heath uses it for educational programming at school.) If you think Halloween is scary, try not having any rules or limits on screens and devices. Yikes! 

Are you wondering how much screen time is appropriate for your child? https://www.commonsensemedia.org/screen-time

Do you need guidance in setting limits and rules when it comes to screens and devices? 

https://www.commonsensemedia.org/blog/how-to-set-screen-rules-that-stick 

Do you need guidance in modeling balance yourself with your own screens (hint: be more present, put your phone down)?

https://www.commonsensemedia.org/blog/be-a-role-model-find-a-healthy-balance-with-media-and-technology

In this month's ParentMap, a timely article on the Do's and Don'ts for first time cell phone users. https://www.parentmap.com/article/dos-and-donts-for-parents-of-first-time-cell-phone-users
 

Check out these links and browse the site a bit. It should give you a good foundation for seeing Stefanie Thomas in a couple of weeks. I hope to see many of you there!

Have a wonderful Halloween weekend!!!

The power of our words (and the right kind of involvement)

Parenting is a hard job. There is so much to consider, from what to feed your children to how much sleep they need to what kind of sunscreen to buy. Needless to say, it can feel like a very overwhelming job, and likely the hardest you will ever have. Luckily, there are a multitude (sometimes too many) of helpful people and resources available. Personally, I have always been a bit overwhelmed by the number of books available (starting at pregnancy) and have been guided by advice someone gave me years ago which is to find the book or author that sits right with you and stick with that one.  As your children grow and develop independence and strong(er) minds and wills, the job of parenting can feel even more challenging. The rewards are immense and invaluable, but the day to day can be difficult. 

Being a parent often means being a facilitator in the lives of our children. Our children are at the center and our job is to put the necessary pieces in place so that our children will (hopefully) thrive, flourish and be happy. They are in the driver's seat, and we are the mechanics. We can't make our children eat, but we can put healthy food on their plate. We can't make them work, but we can support them and create the environment for positive learning to take place. Not to overwhelm you with even more advice (but you are reading this blog, so must be looking for some guidance!), consider these ideas and articles on supporting your child in their development of responsibility and independence:

• Self-talk- we all do it. Work on positive self-talk yourself. Discuss with and model it for your children. The Way You Talk to Yourself Matters 
•  "The way we talk with our children becomes their inner voice." - Peggy O'Mara

• Trust what your teachers are trying to do for your child. They spend 8 hours a day with your child, and at times likely see a different side of him/her. They are professionals educator and are very knowledgeable about appropriate academic and behavioral expectations for children in that age range. Trust. Intellectual and Academic Support

• Don't talk negatively about your child's teachers in front of him/her. It undermines them and sets up an internal conflict for your child.

• Try not to put your own frustrations or issues on your child, particularly when there is an opportunity for your child to grow.

• When safe to do so, let natural consequences occur for your child. Resist the temptation to always do for and save them. Look for opportunities for your child to exercise age appropriate independence and responsibility.  How to Raise an Adult

• Help your children develop their goals- not yours. Five Ways to Help Your Kid Have a Great School Year

It was great to see those of you that made it to see Dr. Lisa Miller talk this week talk about the role of spirituality. It was a really interesting and engaging presentation. Mark your calendars for the next speaker- Stefanie Thomas from the Seattle Police Department will present on Internet Safety, Nov. 16th at 7:00pm. 

Until next week, take care!

Boys and girls learn differently!

No doubt, some of you are thinking- of course they learn differently. Their brains are wired differently! I had the privilege of hearing from a leading authority on this topic  last week at the Northwest Association of Independent Schools (NWAIS) annual fall conference. Michael Gurian, pioneer on gender differences, brings together neuro-biology and brain research into schools and homes. He is the author of 28 books, and co-founded the Gurian Institute that conducts research internationally, pilots programs and trains professionals. I could not write fast enough as he spoke and left the conference with one of his books in hand (Boys and Girls Learn Differently: A Guide for Teachers and Parents). And you better believe I am working to see if we can bring him to Annie Wright to talk with our community. Today I want to share with you some of the nuggets of information from his talk and his book (and I am only into the first few chapters) that made a deep impression on me. *For any neuroscientists reading this, please excuse my lay person summary. Also, there are as many brains in the world as there are people. Generally, girls lean toward the female brains and boys toward the male. However, some people have "bridge brains" and have nearly equal qualities of both male and female brains. 

• The language centers of the male brain are found in the left hemisphere, as opposed to the female brain where both the right and left hemispheres have language centers.  The female language centers run in channels throughout, enabling girls to connect to language (written, oral, etc.) quickly and easily. As well, they connect words to feelings and previous experiences quickly and deeply as well. In contrast, the language centers in the male brain are only on one side and look more like splotches. Therefore, information does not travel in the same way or to the same place.
• The right hemisphere of the male brain is where the spatial and mechanical centers are located. Because of this, boys learn best with movement and things in motion. Boys are active in their learning and naturally oriented to body movement, which serves to further develop their spatial abilities and right hemisphere brain development. In the classroom or at home, this can quite literally look like boys taking up a lot of space.  Boys tend to do better with three dimensional and abstract reasoning.
• In a rest or boredom state, the male brain is largely inactive. Body movement, pencil tapping, and rocking in chairs are some things boys may do to wake their brains up. In comparison, the female brain in the same state of rest or boredom is still quite active. The female brain is never truly at rest. The upside is a high capacity for learning by being consistently engaged. The downside is the potential for rumination of thoughts and being stuck in a mental loop.
• Females tend to see better in low light, males in bright light. Females also hear better than males, often leading people to raise their voices more often with males.
• Females tend to be better at controlling impulsive behavior, and are also less likely to take moral risks than boys. 
• Girls may be likely to try and manage social bonds in a group situation through egalitarian relationships, whereas boys might manage things socially through dominance or working his way to the top of the pecking order. 
• Males tend to tackle situations with a task focused response, leaving much of his brain untouched and managing stimulation by "sticking to a plan." It is a quick and direct route to accomplishing a goal, but can end in frustration if things don't go as planned. Females, on the other hand, respond to things in a more complex way, processing more emotive stimulants, through more senses and more completely. I enjoyed this video on the different way males and females respond- It's Not About the Nail.  
• Under stress, hormones play out differently for females and males. In females, oxytocin (known as the "tend and befriend" hormone) levels soar, pushing females to get help and make choices that please others and maintain relationships. In males under stress, testosterone levels soar, bringing out a "flight or flight" response potentially seen as aggression, competitiveness and/or self-assertion and self-reliance. 

I could go on and on. I am just getting started in the book, and would highly recommend checking out any of his books and materials. I left the conference feeling invigorated and hungry to know more, in both my role at Annie Wright and as a mom of two boys. I hope this post leaves you with a similar feeling of curiosity.
Check out this link to six keys to school success for boys. 
http://gurianinstitute.com/wordpress/6-keys-to-school-success-dr-ed-dixon/  

Take care!

Responsive Classroom- what is it exactly?

Most of you have heard us talk about Responsive Classroom, whether at Back to School night, parent teacher conferences or at grade level parent meetings. When you've heard it referenced, it was likely a brief summary that didn't give your brain much to hold onto. Most of you know about Morning Meeting, but did you know that this start to the day is one of ten practices in this approach? 

Responsive Classroom (RC) is a premium research and evidence-based social and emotional learning approach associated with greater teacher effectiveness, higher student achievement and improved school climate (https://www.responsiveclassroom.org/sites/default/files/pdf_files/rc_brochure_updated.pdf). The Lower School began using this approach five years ago because it was so closely aligned with the community and culture that has been present for years at Annie Wright Schools. In the last two or three years, it has been so easy to implement because of its similarities and consistencies with the Primary Years Program of the IB. It is also an approach intended to be utilized alongside the programs and strategies already being used in a school or classroom.

So what do you need to know? To start, what is social and emotional learning?

• Social and emotional learning (SEL) is the process through which children and adults acquire and effectively apply the knowledge, attitudes, and skills necessary to understand and manage emotions, set and achieve positive goals, feel and show empathy for others, establish and maintain positive relationships, and make responsible decisions (CASEL- http://www.casel.org/social-and-emotional-learning/). 

Why is social and emotional learning important to teach in schools and how is it connected to academic success? 

• The social curriculum is as important as the academic curriculum because children learn best through social interaction.
• Students receiving quality SEL instruction demonstrated 
• better academic performance- achievement scores an average of 11 points higher than students who did not receive SEL instruction
• Improved attitudes and behaviors
• Fewer negative behaviors
• Reduced emotional distress (http://www.responsiveclassroom.org/research)

What are the guiding principles of the Responsive Classroom approach?

• The social and emotional curriculum is as important as the academic curriculum.
• How children learn is as important as what they learn.
• Great cognitive growth occurs through social interaction.
• To be successful academically and socially, children need to learn a set of social and emotional skills that include cooperation, assertiveness, responsibility, empathy, and self-control.
• Knowing the children we teach—individually, culturally, and developmentally—is as important as knowing the content we teach.
• Knowing the families of the children we teach is as important as knowing the children we teach.
• How we, the adults at school, work together is as important as our individual competence: Lasting change begins with the adult community.

And lastly, what are the ten practices included in the Responsive Classroom approach? 

1. Morning Meeting—gathering as a whole class each morning to greet one another, share news, and warm up for the day ahead
2. Rule Creation—helping students create classroom rules to ensure an environment that allows all class members to meet their learning goals
3. Interactive Modeling—teaching children to notice and internalize expected behaviors through a unique modeling technique
4. Positive Teacher Language—using words and tone as a tool to promote children's active learning, sense of community, and self-discipline
5. Logical Consequences—responding to misbehavior in a way that allows children to fix and learn from their mistakes while preserving their dignity
6. Guided Discovery—introducing classroom materials using a format that encourages independence, creativity, and responsibility
7. Academic Choice—increasing student learning by allowing students teacher-structured choices in their work
8. Classroom Organization—setting up the physical room in ways that encourage students’ independence, cooperation, and productivity
9. Working with Families—creating avenues for hearing parents' insights and helping them understand the school's teaching approaches
10. Collaborative Problem Solving—using conferencing, role playing, and other strategies to resolve problems with students (http://www.responsiveclassroom.org/principles-and-practices-responsive-classroom)

We have found Responsive Classroom to work well for teachers and students alike.  I hope in reading this post you find yourself connecting with the approach as well, and can reflect on times when your child's teacher used these principles and practices to support you and your child. 

To close, you may appreciate this post to the RC blog: https://www.responsiveclassroom.org/blog/what-parents-wish-teachers-knew

Take care and enjoy the long weekend!

Supporting positive school (and life) habits

A new school year provides fresh opportunities to develop positive habits, for both children and adults. Habits regarding sleep, healthy eating, exercise, homework, chores, etc. For parents with school age children, August is comparable to January 1st in regards to renewed hopes and best laid plans. Resolutions in January are synonymous to plans in August. Our intentions are often strong and, if you are anything like me, even the best of intentions can be hard to maintain. 

National non-profit What Kids Can Do has a very helpful and concrete guide filled with advice to parents on school success. It outlines strategies in seven areas- homework, managing stress, self-control, motivation and challenge, keeping at it, curiosity, resourcefulness and self-confidence. http://www.whatkidscando.org/specialcollections/advice_for_parents/pdf/Advice_for_Parents.pdf

For parents that find it challenging to establish the necessary structure and routines to build positive habits, check out this article for creative ideas. https://www.parentmap.com/article/not-this-again-when-your-daily-routines-are-a-struggle

Above all, give yourself grace and space. Falling off course is an opportunity to re-examine routines- what works well for one may not work as well for another. School provides many opportunities for trial and error, and consequently time to build resiliency. Resolution miss-steps = Resiliency training. 
 
Until next week, take care.