Organization and the adolescent

In preparing for student led conferences, I came across this article and found it to be incredibly helpful for any parent, but particularly for those with children that struggle with the organizational aspect of school (and life).  The article is targeted at parents of a middle schooler, but I find it helpful for parents of a much broader age range of children. In earlier grades, we are laying the groundwork for these critical skills students depend on in middle and high school. And as we all know too well, the years fly by in the blink of an eye- middle school will be here before you know it! 

The article lays out very concrete steps that both the child and the parent can take to be successful. She also gives sage wisdom for when things fall through the cracks. I encourage all of you to read it. Keeping your middle school organized

The author of the article, Dr. Nancy Darling, a professor of psychology at Oberlin University, has written a series of articles for parents of adolescents. As a parent of a preadolescent, I already feel myself connecting with her insight. 
Adolescents are like lawyers They have honed their arguing skills.
Adolescents are like toddlers They need to be well rested and fed.
Adolescents are like kindergartners They are overwhelmed by new demands.

Until next week, take care. 

The Balance of Nutrition

The presentations for students and the evening discussion for parents on Tuesday from nutrition expert Lisa Geraud were really powerful. The interesting thing about the information she shared was that its power came from the simplicity in the message. We are so accustomed to messages around nutrition being very concrete and factual- eat x number of servings from these 5 food groups, avoid x foods, eat more  of x foods, etc. 

Ms. Geraud's message was this: Eat when you are gently hungry from a variety of food groups and stop eating when you are gently full. Period. Eating from a variety of food groups in a balanced way on a consistent basis (over a period of days), takes away the worry or pressure to focus on any one meal or food item.  In this, Ms. Geraud allowed the students (and parents) permission to occasionally have the food you may feel is generally "off limits" if it is desired. The point being that in essence, no food should be labeled as bad or off limits. This kind of restriction is what can lead to problems with eating. 

The only message that was clear and concrete was around dieting, and it was namely not to do it. Dieting is not an effective, helpful or positive thing for anyone, but particularly for growing adolescents. 

A few other important messages:

• In considering the division of responsibilities, the parents' job is to prepare and provide a variety of foods and the child's job is to eat from what is served (or not). Serve a variety of foods and let your child experiment. For those that have children that have shown themselves to be more selective in their eating (notice in my growth mindset I did not label them as picky eaters), you may want to make sure that when you serve a complete meal,  so that there is always something on their plate that they will enjoy. Division of Responsibility, Ellen Satter
• Physical activity is an important component of health and wellness, so consider making exercise a practice of joy as a family (and less about competition and winning).   
• Food as a source of comfort is okay as long as you have a repertoire of comfort tools that do not include food. 
• Contrary to messages in the media, our bodies are an instrument, not an ornament. 
• Be concerned if your child starts to delete whole food groups or says things like, "I feel better/lighter when I don't eat ________."
• Eating disorders are used to numb and distract oneself from other issues, and the brain is the organ that is most impacted by eating disorders. 

For more information about eating disorders, Lisa Geraud or the Eating Recovery Center of Washington, Eating Recovery Center.

For those that missed it and wanted to see it, go to this link for a recording of the event. youtube video Speaking of, we are aware that it is difficult for a wide variety of reasons for parents to make it to our parent education evenings. In this, we are looking at other ways to make information and education available. Stay tuned on that front. 

Until next week, take care!

Upcoming Parent Education Opportunity!

Hello everyone, 

We are trying something new this month with our parent education evening- two topic speakers in one night! You can attend one or both, whatever suits your needs. 

Tuesday, February 23rd

Great Hall

6:30-7:30pm: The Science of Addiction

Noel Webster, Olalla Recovery Centers

7:30-8:30pm: Nutrition & Developing a Healthy Relationship with Food

Lisa Geraud, Executive Clinical Director at Eating Recovery Center of Washington

It should be a really informative night and I really hope many of you are able to make it. The presentation by Mr. Webster on addiction will give a very informative look at the impact of substances on the brain and body, particularly with young people. Ms. Geraud will give valuable information on nutrition, as well as guidance in helping your children (and yourselves) develop a healthy relationship with food. We brought Ms. Geraud to speak to our faculty last year and I was so impressed. I truly feel this presentation will be valuable for everyone. I hope to see many of you there!  

Until next week, take care.

Bibliotherapy

One of my favorite ways to connect with students and proactively teach social skills is through picture books. For all children, it is a great conversation starter and a place to learn valuable social-emotional skills. Whether your child needs guidance in learning about feelings, friendship, conflict resolution, mindfulness and relaxation, anger, or anxiety, or your family is experiencing a move, a death or illness or separation or divorce, there is a book for you.  I have a few favorites and would like to share them with you.

Feelings and emotions:

• The Great Big Book of Feelings, by Mary Hoffman http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/17318682-the-great-big-book-of-feelings
• In My Heart, by Jo Witek http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/20702049-in-my-heart

Friendship:

• Willow Finds a Way, by Lana Button http://www.kidscanpress.com/products/willow-finds-way
• Each Kindness, by Jacqueline Woodson http://www.jacquelinewoodson.com/category/books-ive-written/picture-books/
• Flabbersmashed About You, by Rachel Vail http://rachelvail.com/flabbersmashed-about-you/

    
Conflict Resolution:

• Too Tall Houses, by Gianna Marino http://www.giannamarino.com/books/too_tall_houses.php
• My Secret Bully, by Trudy Ludwig http://www.trudyludwig.com/mybook_secret.html
• Just Kidding, by Trudy Ludwig http://www.trudyludwig.com/mybook_kidding.html

Mindfulness and Relaxation:

• The Lemonade Hurricane, by Licia Morelli http://lemonadehurricane.com
• Moody Cow Meditates, by Lauren Alderfer http://www.amazon.com/Moody-Cow-Meditates-Kerry-MacLean/dp/086171573X
• Ann's Anger, by Gail Silver http://www.christianekromer.com/anhs-anger.html
• Angry Octopus, by Lori Lite https://stressfreekids.com/151/angry-octopus

Anxiety:

• Wemberly Worried, by Kevin Henkes http://www.kevinhenkes.com/book/wemberly/
• Is a Worry Worrying you?, by Ferida Wolff and Harriet May Savitz http://www.tanglewoodbooks.com/books/worry.html
• The Girl Who Never Made Mistakes, by Mark Pett and Gary Rubinstein http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/11526654-the-girl-who-never-made-mistakes

Moving:

• Where I Live, by Eileen Spinelli http://www.amazon.com/Where-I-Live-Eileen-Spinelli/dp/0803731221
• From There to Here, by Laurel Croza http://houseofanansi.com/products/from-there-to-here

Death or Illness:

• Samantha Jane's Missing Smile, by Julie Kaplow and Donna Pincus http://www.apa.org/pubs/magination/441A808.aspx
• Gentle Willow: A Story for Children about Dying, by Joyce Mills http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/62245.Gentle_Willow   

Divorce or Separation:

• Mom and Dad Glue, by Kes Gray http://www.littleparachutes.com/book.php?id=209
• Living with my mom and living with my dad, by Melanie Walsh http://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/217858/living-with-mom-and-living-with-dad-by-melanie-walsh/9780763658694/

My go-to resource for great books is a blog written by a school counselor. http://booksthathealkids.blogspot.com Check it out! 

Have a wonderful weekend!

Emotional Intelligence

Hello parents! I want to focus this week's blog post on Emotional Intelligence (sometimes referred to as EQ).  Emotional intelligence is described as the ability to monitor one’s own and others’ feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them and to use this information to guide one’s thinking and actions (Salovey and Mayer).” In this, there are 3 main areas:

• Appraisal and expression of emotion
• Regulation of emotion
• Utilization of emotion. 

Put more simply, if you have a high EQ you understand a wide range of emotions, you recognize these emotions in yourself and others and have the ability to regulate these emotions as you experience them. Likewise, you can read these emotions in other people and can connect based on empathy you have for them.  

Not surprisingly, we are finding that one's ability to navigate a variety of social situations and to control impulses and emotions is far more important than traditional intellect in finding success in school and beyond. At school, we work very hard to support children's EQ by building their understanding of emotions, recognizing their own emotions, positively handling their emotions and understanding others' perspectives to build empathy. These are all part of social and emotional learning and are inherent in Responsive Classroom and the IB (both PYP and MYP) and are a natural part of growth and development. 

It is equally important that you build on your child's emotional intelligence at home.  Here are some suggestions on how to do so:

• Help your child identify his/her feelings and then give them validation.  Some children need help putting their feelings into words, and this is where you can help. "I can tell you are feeling frustrated trying to put that together. I get frustrated too when something does not work the way I want it to. Take a breath for a minute. If you want my help, let me know." This is a great opportunity to practice mindfulness as well. You are not really trying to change how they feel, rather you are acknowledging their feeling and allowing them to sit with this feeling. 
• Model your own management of emotions. Talk with your children about how you are feeling and why. 
• Work on building your family's emotional vocabulary beyond mad, sad, glad. Life is complex and so are our hearts. Many feelings can be categorized as having a negative or positive impact on us, but not all. Some feelings leave us feeling vulnerable or exposed and these are important ones to talk with your kids about.   
• Talk about how others feel to help develop empathy and compassion. You can do this through books, movies or even outings at the park. Be an observer and take a moment to talk about someone might be feeling. Stretch your child to think about how they might feel in that same situation. Have a conversation and see where it goes. 

Until next time, take care.

Healthy habits for healthy families

Happy new year everyone! I hope your holidays were lovely and the new year is starting off nicely. I always appreciate the long, unplanned days that come with breaks, filled with opportunities to fully unplug and relax. I hope you were all able to do the same during the holiday break. 

For many, a new year is a chance to develop new habits. Some focus on personal health related resolutions, others give more attention to their professional goals, and yet others devote their time and attention to family and/or community. The most ambitious and optimistic strive for a shift in all areas of their lives. A year is a long time, too long for some, making it easy to lose hope and give up. If you fall into this camp, instead try focusing on a new habit for 30 days at a time. Try something new for 30 days

Looking for healthy habits to adopt for 2016? Look no further!

• How about eating together as a family? Children are 24% more likely to be eating healthy foods and 35% less likely to have disordered eating in families that share at least three meals together a week. Positive benefits of shared family meals
• Looking to increase your own physical activity? Did you know that only 1 in 5 adults meets the recommendations for physical activity and less than 3 in 10 high school students get 60 minutes of physical activity every day? Modeling and being active together is the best way to get your children to develop healthy lifelong habits relating to activity and exercise. Physical activity information
• Are you getting sufficient sleep? Most of us are not, and it turns out that good quality sleep is good for your heart (among many other things). The effect of sleep on your heart 
• Looking for balance? Cutting back on your own screen time will have a multitude of positive results, including modeling positive habits for your children, leaving you more present in your daily life, giving more time for other activities and helping to improve the quality of your sleep (see above point). Healthy screen habits for the whole family 

I have my own set of resolutions for the year and look forward to sharing successes, challenges and strategies!

A few upcoming events not to miss: 

• The Great Conversations "Growing Up" class is being held at Annie Wright Jan. 13th and 20th for children ages 10-12 and their trusted adult. Growing Up class 
• Two speakers on one night! Tuesday, Feb. 23rd starting at 6:30pm in the Great Hall. 
• The Science of Addiction, by Noel Webster from the Olalla Recovery Center
• Developing a Healthy Relationship with Food, by Lisa Geraud from the Eating Recovery Center of Washington. 

Until next week, take care!

"Growing Up" Class

Each year I have the pleasure of being a part of an incredible opportunity for our students and parents. Great Conversations is a local organization that "offers classes and presentations on subjects dealing with puberty, sexuality, parenting and other topics surrounding adolescents to families, teens and professionals."
Great Conversations
We bring them to Annie Wright each January and May for the "Growing Up" class (all about puberty and the journey through adolescence) offered to families in the community. We have been hosting this class for close to 15 years now!

For those that have attended the class already with their child(ren), you have experienced firsthand how incredibly informative the class is, delivered with humor all while being completely developmental appropriate. I truly feel it is a gift of a class, a wonderful foundation of information to help guide many conversations in the journey ahead. It is definitely best received when the child is ready, both emotionally and physically. 

Great Conversations has received national recognition from the New York Times to the Today Show. Check them out!
NY Times 
Today Show 

For more information and registration,
Registration 

And please spread the word to any other interested families in the community that might be interested.

Take care!